overlap

A couple of weeks ago I blogged about telling someone new, which happens to be someone who was also on tour in Ireland. I like the crossover of different people coming into different areas in my life, I genuinely enjoy the feeling of opening up and letting people in, and that particular episode descended into a rambling drunken 4am conversation about lipstick. But it hasn't always been that way, and even now I wouldn't say I'm all that good at it. It's a matter of record that with the exception of my only sibling, whom I love dearly, none of my family knows how to get hold of me, never mind where I am and what I'm doing, and that's my choice. I've lost absolutely nothing where there was nothing to lose in the first place, but of course that sort of stuff inevitably comes at some sort of cost. Look me up on friends reunited, and you'll see there's no information there. But you can only trust me when I say that, because of course you don't know my surname either. I choose not to let the past blight my future, but I know there's only so much control I can have over that, so I still felt somewhat exposed, vulnerable and unhappy when a distant relative came within touching distance on saturday. I'm not prepared to allow things that belong left that far behind to get in the way of the happy life I've carved out for myself, but I'd prefer not to be reminded of it at all where possible, so I still won't be laying out a great big trail of information that leads back to where and who I am now. And that would still be the case if I'd never owned a single lipstick in my life.