Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Where's Jim Bowen When You Need Him?
Had a text today, from the ex with whom I've shared the longest duration relationship, and who is responsible for a lot of important influence in my life. The second person I ever told about my transvestism, the first being a decade and something in the where are they now, but who gives a toss anyway? file by this point. Many years down the line, I'm still in some way part of that family, I still have a key to the parental home, and was reminded as recently as last xmas that whenever I'm in town, I still have a place to stay there if I need one. The 'love of my life' is probably not too strong a term.
"Just wanted to let you know we're getting married", or words to that effect.
Being happy for someone is one thing, and I genuinely am. But there's just a tiny hint of bittersweet feeling too.
Freudenschade I guess you'd call it.
Now then, lets have a look at what you could have won! Thanks Jim.
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ok, I was just going to say this to you on msn but you had to go.
I wrote a poem on this very thing a couple of years ago
Star Prize
This is what you could have won
look at the asters of klieg reflected
on the plant fresh paint on the foot deep chrome
Tonight’s star prize that you could have won
if you’d said a different thing
gone to the grammar and bothered to work
had a life instead of a carrier bag full of carrier bags
been anything other than you
This is what you would be taking home tonight
look at the dash
it’s like Apollo 13 in there
it looks like Concorde don’t you think
goes like a whore on crack I drove it round the studio car park
(with a whore on crack) before the show tonight
And this is what you could have won
look at the shine your hubby would have hated it
he would have left you for a barmaid with an inch of roots
and drawers full of large pink grey drawers
Better off with your Datsun Sunny
But you don’t go home empty handed!
No!
Fans out ten ten shilling notes like magic
You don’t go away empty handed!
Did you enjoy it have you enjoyed yourself tonight
Shakes her hand and touches her like she was real
I wrote a poem on this very thing a couple of years ago
Star Prize
This is what you could have won
look at the asters of klieg reflected
on the plant fresh paint on the foot deep chrome
Tonight’s star prize that you could have won
if you’d said a different thing
gone to the grammar and bothered to work
had a life instead of a carrier bag full of carrier bags
been anything other than you
This is what you would be taking home tonight
look at the dash
it’s like Apollo 13 in there
it looks like Concorde don’t you think
goes like a whore on crack I drove it round the studio car park
(with a whore on crack) before the show tonight
And this is what you could have won
look at the shine your hubby would have hated it
he would have left you for a barmaid with an inch of roots
and drawers full of large pink grey drawers
Better off with your Datsun Sunny
But you don’t go home empty handed!
No!
Fans out ten ten shilling notes like magic
You don’t go away empty handed!
Did you enjoy it have you enjoyed yourself tonight
Shakes her hand and touches her like she was real
Ah, bittersweet pangs of nostalgia, we all get them when these things happen. Even if we're happy with our right here, right now.
# posted by 
: 8:12 am
: 8:12 am
Not exactly unexpected, and not exactly unanticipated. My ego's never been big enough to want to get in the way of someone else's happiness, and I hope that never changes.
Life goes on.
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Life goes on.
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