Thursday, February 24, 2005
Unfair Questions
I just asked this of someone without thinking too hard before I did, but once I had thought about it, I realised there was a bit more to it. Given certain assumptions, the question which I address primarily (but not exclusively) to my women readers is as follows.
Assume you're single, you meet some guy, find the two of you get on well enough for it to be worth pursuing, and he makes a confession of sparkly tendencies. You say..?
I'm asking for a number of reasons - it's always good to compare my own thinking with prevailing opinion if any exists - but it occurred to me that it's a question I've never encountered except from within the situation. For my part, I know what I'm comfortable with, and I know how slightly different approaches have had slightly different results in the past.
Happy to go on to share my experiences, but it's a straightforward question out of academic interest - how would you react to such a revelation?
Comments:
<< Home
_
I'm not sure really but at first I'd probably feel a bit weirded out. It depends on lots of things really like how often and how sparkly. I'd probably be a bit overwhelmed if it was full on spangly drag style and ugly but not so bothered if it was a more alternative/goth sort of style of spangliness.
Being the sort of classy bird (ahem) that wouldn't know bingo from Bing Crosby, that obviously wouldn't be a problem for me!
But it's telling that what you both comment on is that it matters to some degree what the end result turns out looking like.
One of the things experience has taught me is that the timing of the telling is all important; without exception, it's been more successful to own up very early on.
I rather suspect that there's a certain dilution of the impact when it's one of a list of major background things, family, studies, work history, major interests and so on when you're getting to know someone.
And on the other hand, I suspect that thinking you've got to know someone a bit and suddenly being taken by surprise when a quote-unquote scandalous secret rears up like a tyrannosaurus rex probably feels like a bit of a kick in the teeth, to say the least.
That's one of the reasons I heart my sparkly ladies so much - it's the opportunity to just talk at a very shallow level about my new skirt, say, without it being a major issue that only ever comes with all manner of associated baggage. Except for the pink bag that goes so well with it, of course!
Post a Comment
But it's telling that what you both comment on is that it matters to some degree what the end result turns out looking like.
One of the things experience has taught me is that the timing of the telling is all important; without exception, it's been more successful to own up very early on.
I rather suspect that there's a certain dilution of the impact when it's one of a list of major background things, family, studies, work history, major interests and so on when you're getting to know someone.
And on the other hand, I suspect that thinking you've got to know someone a bit and suddenly being taken by surprise when a quote-unquote scandalous secret rears up like a tyrannosaurus rex probably feels like a bit of a kick in the teeth, to say the least.
That's one of the reasons I heart my sparkly ladies so much - it's the opportunity to just talk at a very shallow level about my new skirt, say, without it being a major issue that only ever comes with all manner of associated baggage. Except for the pink bag that goes so well with it, of course!
<< Home
